“I quit” – how to deal with a team member’s resignation

“Hey, here’s my resignation”. Whether you expected it or not, hearing that someone in your team wants to leave conjures up various emotions. How do you deal with a resignation of a team member? Let’s explore some scenarios.

From “Oh No” to “Phew”

An honest opinion: while some resignations will make you think “Oh No, that’s awful”, others will bring you a sigh of relief. Let’s start with the latter ones.

The awkward resignations

Sometimes a team member is not a good fit for the team for a reason. You’ve tried everything you had at your disposal to fix the situation, and nothing has worked. Hearing that this particular team member wants to leave may make you think ‘Phew’. I found myself thinking this a number of times in my career – not only as a team leader but also as a team member.

Be prepared that this team member might not make things easy for you nor anyone who needs to be involved in the leaving process. Hopefully, they will maintain their professional decorum in the last weeks or months of their employment. Occassionally, they may go on a bit of a revenge spree before they leave.

Always involve your HR / People team and your own line manager in the process. Do your best not to get dragged into conversations that aim at causing disturbance and upset others. This is where your leadership skills of integrity and consistency come in.

Your aim is to make this resignation as painless for the team member, yourself, and people around you as possible. You may need to have one or two difficult conversations in the process of it. Always prepare as much as possible, and ask for help if you’re not feeling certain or confident.

Photo by Junseong Lee on Unsplash

The disappointing resignations

Occasionally, the resignation comes out of nowhere. Your surprise may be even bigger if the team member is a great person and them leaving will be a loss to the Team. It will be natural to question why they have made such a decision and (potentially) didn’t give you any indication that they were thinking of leaving.

It’s important that you clear the air and have a chat with this team member. Ask what led them to handing in their notice, and be prepared for any answer. Shape it as you wanting to learn for the future (after all you are a learning leader!).

I would suggest asking if there is anything would change their mind. You never know – there may be something that will reverse their decision.

Once in a while, the resignation is a cry for attention. We could definitely write a whole article about reasons for that kind of a situation. Similarly, always have a chat with the team member about rationale for the notice. Be prepared that this may be an intense conversation as you may hear that e.g. the team member feels left out. Keep the HR team and your team lead in the loop about what’s going on, and always ask for help if you’re stuck or unsure.

People don’t leave jobs, they leave managers

This is a statement that we all have said at least once. I leave it to you whether you agree with it or not. Just notice that this observation mentions Managers, not Leaders 🙂

• Should you ask your team member why they want to leave? I’d encourage you to do so, for a number of reasons. Firstly, it shows that you don’t shy away from difficult topics nor conversations, so it exhibits your courage. Secondly, it shows that you respect the team member and would like to give them the space to share the rationale for the decision. One of the things that everyone wants is being listened to, and so you show you are curious and with open mind.

• When should you announce the news? Always – I can’t stress this enough – discuss the timing of sharing the news with the team member who is leaving. Unless there are certain commercial or confidential circumstances that drive the announcement, offer the team member the decision how and when to communicate their departure. Give them the option to speak with their colleagues separately but be clear with the boundaries and arrangements that you both need to adhere to.

• Should I organise a leaving present? Your team, and organisation, will have their specific rules for such events. A couple of things to bear in mind though. If you are organising a leaving gift, make it a thoughtful one and showing that you appreciate the leaving team member; don’t pressure anyone to pay into the gift; respect the leaving team member’s wishes about a Leaving Do – not everyone likes the attention.

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Dealing with a team member leaving can be intense for a whole raft of reasons. No matter your experience level, ask for assistance and don’t feel like it’s all sitting on your shoulders.

What advice would you give to a leader who hasn’t dealt with such a situation? Let us know in the comments!

Feature photo by Mantas Hesthaven on Unsplash